Testing grows Our Faith

I start back to Grad school next week and to be honest with you, I am nervous!!! The class I have to take is Elementary Statistics and I have not dealt with math since my college days which ended 19 years ago!!!!

Math and I are not best friends, thank God Jesus and I are. When I make it through this class I will tell you it is only because the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ! The Holy Spirit in me will have to take this class and you can bet your bottom dollar I will rely on Him so much it will be apparent it wasn't me and my strength that got me through!

This took me a while to learn. I don't know why, maybe because I am just hard headed. It really does seem to take me longer to "GET" things. I have read research on the brain and the effects of Sexual abuse and PTSD have on it and let me tell you straight up, it changes the brain!

I really thought there was something "wrong" with me, that I was just "slower" than most people and the truth is....I am! My brain does not remember things like a "normal" brain, whatever normal is. It is frustrating for me because I can't remember things at times. It just isn't there. It's like it goes in and floats right out there somewhere.

This is my reality...I don't share this for anyone to pity me, because honestly I don't like anyone to. I share it with you because someone else might experience the same thing and I want you to know you are not alone!!! I have issues with organization and inattention. For so long I felt bad about this, I would be very hard on myself and at times I would hear the voice of the enemy whisper to me and tell me how stupid I was because I couldn't remember things. It's not my fault, I can't remember, it's just the way it is due to the trauma I endured.

If I don't write something down...forget it, don't expect me to remember it. I put things in certain places so I can see visual reminders or I will forget to do stuff. This is a bit frustrating when you live with someone who has OCD and likes things in certain places. We have had to go a few rounds and I still have to remind him that I do things a certain way because I CAN'T remember!!! : ) I have come to a place of acceptance with my reality and have relied on God more because of it. I can't do things in my strength, but I know/I'm learning I can do it through His.

So, this is why I am nervous about my Stats Class, I know I am learning new info and will have to remember it too. I am crying out to God to help me and walk with me the entire way! He is the one that called me to go to Grad School, He has a purpose and plan for my life that is bigger and better than I could ever come up with, so I am going to be tested this semester to see just how much I am willing to rely on Him to work in and through me! I will have no choice but to walk by Faith and not by Sight ( 2 Corinthians 5: 7 NKJV) because the Road I am looking at looks pretty dark and scary! However, I know and Believe that when you put your Hope and Faith in the Son, everything looks Brighter! I'll gladly accept your prayers on my behalf : )

Blessings,

Debra L. Roberts

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2: 20(NKJV)

So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17: 20(NKJV)