Forgiveness--true forgiveness

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.” Psalm 32:8 NKJV

I sit here with tears in my eyes as I write these words from my heart. Have you ever been asked by God to do something that you have no idea how you are going to do? Sometimes God has us do things that we could NEVER do on our own to prove to us that we can not live without Him. The Grace God gave me when He forgave me from ALL of my sins was HUGE! And when I say HUGE, I mean HUGE! I had looked for Love in ALL the wrong places and when I finally searched for God with all of my heart, I found Him! He was there, waiting for me, He had actually been there all along, I just could not see it because of all the walls I had built up around me. I even built one up to hide the little girl who had been taken advantage of. What I didn't realize was instead of protecting her, she went into isolation and was forced to hide. She was not FREE! She was still shackled and God wanted her FREE too. But how could that be done....he showed me today as I sat waiting on a doctor.

Forgiveness that is how, True Forgiveness for one of my abusers who I have hated for years. I was committing Murder of my heart and the bitterness that was hiding was eating me up! I could not forgive him, he didn't admit what he did, in fact he told me I was crazy and I made the whole thing up, I was so mad that he would not just own up to what he had done! Most thieves are liars, very few are honest, is that so hard to figure out? It didn't matter that he didn't tell the truth, God knows the truth and he says "vengance is mine". I had to forgive, I knew I had to forgive, but I could not do it alone, I cried out to God to help me and He assured me he would walk along my side and hold my right hand and be with me the whole time. I am about to make a phone call to give someone who I dearly loved, trusted and was betrayed by a pardon. I am letting him out of the jail cell I have kept him in for the last 37 years, I can't believe that is what I am doing, but God assures me I will not be alone! All I can say is the same words Jesus said when he was on the cross.."Forgive him Father for he knows not what he does/did". Grace, Mercy and Love are from the Lord, He supplies me with All my needs and I pray that he will direct my words. Thank you Jesus, I ask all of this in your name.

Amen