He is Faithful even when we are not....

It has been seven weeks since I wrote last and a lot has happened since then. I have one more week of Stats class and God has been faithful to me even when I was not. He did not forget me or forsake me and stood by me the entire time. There were times I would forget He was there and try in my own strength to succeed and it never worked. All it did was cause me to get into a frenzied mess! I was constantly reminded to cast my cares upon Him because He does care and will provide. The provisions He supplied me were more than I can even comprehend. I will pass this class, it looks like it might be a C or it could even be a B if I do well on the final, next week is the last week so I will know then for sure.

I got blindsided by some events recently. I was deeply hurt by someone I love. I had a hard time forgiving them for their choices because they directly affected me, I wrestled with anger and bitterness for two days, I could not sleep or think straight. I hated how I felt because it was holding me back from functioning at my best. I just kept hearing The Lord say to me, forgive how I forgave you. I just wrote these words above "I was deeply hurt by someone I love", I wonder how many times God felt like that, but He kept loving anyway! He didn't become bitter and distant towards me, He loved me when I least deserved to be loved. As an image bearer of Christ, I should do the same thing, I want to do the same thing, but it is not an easy task. That is why, I am reminded once again that we alone can not truly love or truly forgive. But with God's help through the Holy Spirit we can live in love. We must stay connected to the vine to bare the fruit.

I am grateful to be able to say that I continue to grow and become aware of God's never ending love for me. His Grace is sufficient for today and everyday and once again I have been pardoned and because I was willing to forgive I was let out of the jail cell my bitterness, anger and hurt trapped me in. May I be bold enough to continue to share what I have learned with others. Life is a journey and we sometimes go down dirt roads and discover paths we would have never seen had we not gone down the wrong road. As I typed that the Spirit spoke to my heart and said they were not wrong roads because they drove you to learn something new. I am grateful for what I learn because I can share it with you. I pray you are blessed today.

Testing grows Our Faith

I start back to Grad school next week and to be honest with you, I am nervous!!! The class I have to take is Elementary Statistics and I have not dealt with math since my college days which ended 19 years ago!!!!

Math and I are not best friends, thank God Jesus and I are. When I make it through this class I will tell you it is only because the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ! The Holy Spirit in me will have to take this class and you can bet your bottom dollar I will rely on Him so much it will be apparent it wasn't me and my strength that got me through!

This took me a while to learn. I don't know why, maybe because I am just hard headed. It really does seem to take me longer to "GET" things. I have read research on the brain and the effects of Sexual abuse and PTSD have on it and let me tell you straight up, it changes the brain!

I really thought there was something "wrong" with me, that I was just "slower" than most people and the truth is....I am! My brain does not remember things like a "normal" brain, whatever normal is. It is frustrating for me because I can't remember things at times. It just isn't there. It's like it goes in and floats right out there somewhere.

This is my reality...I don't share this for anyone to pity me, because honestly I don't like anyone to. I share it with you because someone else might experience the same thing and I want you to know you are not alone!!! I have issues with organization and inattention. For so long I felt bad about this, I would be very hard on myself and at times I would hear the voice of the enemy whisper to me and tell me how stupid I was because I couldn't remember things. It's not my fault, I can't remember, it's just the way it is due to the trauma I endured.

If I don't write something down...forget it, don't expect me to remember it. I put things in certain places so I can see visual reminders or I will forget to do stuff. This is a bit frustrating when you live with someone who has OCD and likes things in certain places. We have had to go a few rounds and I still have to remind him that I do things a certain way because I CAN'T remember!!! : ) I have come to a place of acceptance with my reality and have relied on God more because of it. I can't do things in my strength, but I know/I'm learning I can do it through His.

So, this is why I am nervous about my Stats Class, I know I am learning new info and will have to remember it too. I am crying out to God to help me and walk with me the entire way! He is the one that called me to go to Grad School, He has a purpose and plan for my life that is bigger and better than I could ever come up with, so I am going to be tested this semester to see just how much I am willing to rely on Him to work in and through me! I will have no choice but to walk by Faith and not by Sight ( 2 Corinthians 5: 7 NKJV) because the Road I am looking at looks pretty dark and scary! However, I know and Believe that when you put your Hope and Faith in the Son, everything looks Brighter! I'll gladly accept your prayers on my behalf : )

Blessings,

Debra L. Roberts

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2: 20(NKJV)

So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17: 20(NKJV)

God Speaks Through My Little Girl

I am in complete shock, joy and amazement that my 12 year old daughter would be used by God in such a profound way! The words that describe how I feel are too numerous, but I have NO doubt that God wrote through my daughter. The wisdom that was written in the time period of ten minutes is too deep for a 12 year old. I have always been honest with my daughter, she knows my life story and she has educated girls because I was willing to share it. She knows who abused me and she asked me to see a picture of the one that I just forgave, the one that took me 37 years to forgive. She saw recent pictures of him I obtained through a friend and she sat down and wrote this.....I share it because I believe it was written by the hand of God to impact lives. The question is how??? Share your reactions please....


Dick

Something was in Dick’s eyes that I had a feeling was not right. His facial expression seemed as if something was wrong. I could tell he has been through a painful and deep past. He was a child molester. He had no reason to be one of course. Most people make up excuses why they would do such a thing. But for me, I could tell that there were many reasons why he might have done something like this. The more I look at his picture, the more I see regret and sadness in his eyes. I already knew he was a child molester. But I think I have found out more about this man just by looking at him. I know I have a God given gift that I can read people just by looking into their eyes, and seeing their face...This man was not only in complete and total devastation, but he was also abused himself. I have a feeling that something had happened to this man..It’s a petrifying past that remains untold to this day. There are many stories that have been left behind closed doors. His story, is one of them. Not only was he hurting other people, but he was hurting himself. His dreadful previous life of violence and pain reacted in a way in such to recreate his past and reveal certain memories that are replayed in a different time, a different way, and a different target referring to a different person. Maybe he did not mean to do the things that he has done. However, the anger and bitterness of his past got the most out of him, and he raged out in a way that should have been let out on the cross instead of a child. Most thieves are liars. He was a thief. He stole the innocence of a young bright-eyed girl, and denied the fact he took it. He lured the little girl in by setting up his bait of kindness and love. Then, he took out his hook, and stabbed it right into her heart, leaving all the rips and tears open. All of her emotions flooded out and were left out to rot. Nothing would ever be the same anymore. He was only fishing for something to make himself feel better. Hurt people hurt people. Molestation was his ways of making himself feel good. It was his way of getting stimulated mentally and physically. The little girl was left in pieces. Years later, she has come to realize more and more about this, and God was the one that was there to sew up the rips and tears of her heart. He was the one picking up all the puzzle pieces then fitting them back together one by one, and every time he did, he revealed more and more secrets from her past that she had never witnessed or understood before. Although you can never forget the past, you can always forgive it. She has come to know that this is what she must do. Out of fear, it was hard to do at first. But now, the puzzle is finally coming together, and as it does, she gets stronger and stronger each day. Her inner strength given by God, is finally taking over her memories of a terrible childhood and using it for His sake and His glory to help others. You may want to just hide forever from things like this. Most people do. With the help of Him, He will guide you out of your shell that you were tightly stuffed in by the rage of this world and let you come to realize, in everyone, there will and always be, a Dick.

-We Believe this was Written by God through Heather-
The name "Dick" is factious.